A Therapist's Guide for Healing from Birth Trauma
Takeaway: Birth trauma is more common than most people realize—and it doesn’t just go away on its own. In this guide, a trauma-informed therapist shares what healing can look like and how to begin finding peace after a difficult birth.
"What did I do wrong?" You read the recommended books, joined the Facebook groups, asked other mothers about their birth experiences, and had a list of questions ready for every appointment. You thought you were more than prepared, but now you are living with the aftermath of a traumatic birth.
According to the National Institutes of Health, 1 in 3 new mothers describe birth as traumatic and 1.5-6% of births can lead to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Despite these statistics, birth trauma can still feel isolating and cause overwhelming emotional distress.
I'm Janel Coleman, a licensed psychotherapist and trained full-spectrum doula. I support new parents with managing the complexities of pregnancy and postpartum, while finding their strengths and joys in this life transition. In this post, I will cover the reality of birth trauma and what sustainable healing and recovery can look like.
9 birth trauma healing strategies you can try today
The following strategies can help you begin your healing journey post the traumatic birth of your baby. With the weight of everyday tasks and adjusting to this life change, many mothers may not know where to start. These strategies are sorted by difficulty level so that you can find relief from any part of your journey.
Early-stage healing from birth trauma
1. Name your Emotions
How to do it: Use a feelings wheel or emotions list for practical support. Name the emotions that are connected to your birth story even if they feel conflicting. Ex. I feel afraid, I feel disappointed, I feel upset, I feel guilty
How it helps: You may not be ready or want to fully describe the experience. Naming the emotions can help to decrease their negative impact. When naming the emotions, you're validating their existence and bringing yourself into the present.
2. Connect with a supportive person
How to do it: At this stage, seek support from at least one person who is open to hearing you share your feelings about your birth experience. This can be your partner, a family member, close friend, trusted healthcare provider, or your existing therapist.
How it helps: Isolation can make negative feelings harder to manage and can cause you to invalidate your real emotions. Receiving non-judgmental support from a trusted person is an important part of validating your difficult birth experience. Your support person can also help you celebrate your wins and all you are doing to care for yourself and your baby.
3. Limit triggering or retraumatizing content
How to do it: Mute or unfollow accounts that show other parents sharing romanticized or highly curated portrayals of their birth experience. On the flip side, you may want to also mute content showing traumatic births as well.
How it helps: This is a helpful strategy because doomscrolling is a common way people cope with challenging emotions. However, if the content feels invalidating by showing what appears to be an opposing experience, it can validate feelings of guilt and shame. Content that shows childbirth trauma on the other hand, may trigger painful memories of giving birth as well.
4. Receive help for daily tasks
How to do it: Outsource help through services, family, or friends with daily tasks or childcare
How it helps: Treating birth trauma includes basic self-care. The experience of trauma can limit one's capacity to complete daily tasks like cooking, cleaning, or caring for other children. By outsourcing help, you are expanding your ability to heal and leaving room to focus on your mental health.
Next steps for birth trauma healing
5. Seek individual professional support
How to do it: Find a licensed psychotherapist who is trauma-informed and specializes in postpartum mental health. You can find referrals through your trusted healthcare professionals or directories like Psychology Today or Therapy for Black Girls.
How it helps : Therapy can support with processing the traumatic experience of giving birth. However, not all therapists may understand the specific nuances and complexities of the birth and postpartum experience, or are competent in trauma-informed care. Finding appropriate care, healthcare professionals that understand reproductive and infant psychology, is essential to your healing. In addition to processing, a therapist can support you with developing sustainable coping tools, such as breathwork, grounding techniques and somatic practices. You may also consider therapists who practices specific trauma modalities like EMDR.
6. Practice grounding tools outside of therapy
How to do it: Create a "toolbox" of grounding practices that you can incorporate into your regular routine. These can include deep breathing, a body scan, affirmations, or lying on the ground.
How it helps: Healing from a traumatic birth will take time. While you are adjusting to your new life, having a plan for when you experience overwhelming symptoms can support with being consistent on your path to healing. When incorporated regularly, these tools will help to calm the nervous system and support with caring for yourself and your baby.
7. Revisit your birth story
How to do it: Journal or explore your difficult birth story with your therapist. During this time you can identify unmet needs, what went well, how the experience differed from your expectations of your baby's birth, and your hopes for the future.
How it helps: This step can be a source of empowerment. Through journaling and exploring your experience in more detail, you can release shame.
Longer-term strategies for processing birth trauma
8. Engage in a support group
How to do it: Find an in person or virtual support group for traumatic births. You can also consider groups on social media platforms like Facebook or Reddit.
How it helps: Support groups can be an opportunity for you to share or be in community with others who have similar experiences. In community, you can continue to feel support and less isolation during a difficult experience. You may want to learn more about how you can be an advocate for birth trauma or have a place to land if you experience unexpected triggers as you continue on your parenting journey.
9. Formal self-advocacy
How to do it: Revisiting medical records can help you to better understand what may have happened. If there was medical malpractice, file a formal complaint against your healthcare provider, or find ways to advocate for others who experience birth trauma and work towards systemic change. Think about becoming a La Leche League Leader as a way to help other moms.
How it helps: If you experienced birth trauma that was the result of medical malpractice or neglect, filing a formal complaint can help reclaim your dignity and seek justice. This can also be supportive to future patients, so that they do not have similar experiences.
FAQs about how to heal from birth trauma
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Birth trauma is subjective. What one person describes as a traumatic birth process may not feel the same for another. Birth trauma exists when there is prolonged emotional and/or physical distress post the birthing experience.
Birth experiences that may be associated with trauma include:
Emergency interventions or medical attention ex. emergency cesarean section
Life-threatening experiences and health issues, ex. postpartum hemorrhage or excessive blood loss post birth
Prolonged or rapid labor
Physical side effects or health problems due to birth ex. extensive tearing
Inadequate pain relief
Emergency C section
Lack of support from medical team and/or loved ones
Communication issues with healthcare team or lack of appropriate treatment
Baby needing emergency medical support or NICU at your local hospital or sustaining a birth injury
Loss of autonomy/decision making or high levels of obstetrician or healthcare provider interventions
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Birth trauma can have profound impacts on the mental health of a parent. Psychological effects of birth trauma can include symptoms associated with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder):
Flashbacks or reliving the traumatic event
Birth nightmares
Avoidance of anything that might remind you of the event, or avoidance of talking about your birth story
Panic attacks
Negative thoughts about self or self-blame
Intense anxiety, anger, or fear
Hypervigilance- feeling easily startled or heightened sensitivity to your environment
Feeling emotionally numb
Uncomfortable physical sensations
Birth trauma can be associated with various mental health conditions like postpartum depression or anxiety disorders, which can include a combination of the symptoms listed above. The psychological symptoms of a traumatic childbirth can affect how a mom connects and cares for her baby. Breastfeeding and the ability to bond with the baby can be impacted. Birth trauma can also result in disconnection from the other parent, sexual avoidance, and fear of a future pregnancy.
It is important to note that the emotional distress from birth trauma can coexist with the negative emotions associated with baby blues, expected physical recovery, a lack of sleep, and the impact of a significant life change overall. Even if you do not identify with these symptoms, but feel like your emotional health is at risk, reach out for support.
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How long it takes to heal and move forward from birth trauma is an individual experience and depends on various risk factors. Each person's experience is different. Similar to the grieving process, it will take time to mourn the birth you didn't have while simultaneously adjusting to this profound shift in your life. You may go back and forth between your various coping strategies and emotions before arriving at a place of acceptance.
While the exact time cannot be predicted, for most women the healing process can be greatly supported by receiving emotional support from community and loved ones, self-advocacy, and adequate self-care, such as sleep, nutrition, and movement.
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While I hope you find the tools informative and helpful on your journey, they are not a replacement for professional support. Signs that you could benefit from therapy include:
You are unable to care for yourself or the baby
You are having thoughts about harming yourself or the baby
Psychological distress or physical symptoms are overwhelming
You are avoiding activities or people you once enjoyed
You are self-medicating with substances
You are finding it difficult to connect with your baby
You are sleeping or eating more than you typically would
You are often on edge, angry, tearful or having difficulty coping
Many parents feel bringing a new baby into the world is a challenging experience and seek professional support as a result. Birth trauma can make this experience even harder. You are not alone, and receiving care can be an essential part of caring for your well-being and that of your family.
Final thoughts
If you experience birth trauma, you may blame yourself, question what you could have done differently, or compare yourself to others. Your emotions may feel overwhelming. Although birth experiences vary person to person, you are not alone. Women who have experienced birth trauma have found healing with community care, self-advocacy, consistent self-care practices, and professional support. If you are ready to process and heal from your birth trauma, I welcome you to schedule a consultation with me.
