Attachment in Action: What “The Summer I Turned Pretty” Teaches Us About Attachment Styles
Few shows capture the emotional intensity of teenage love, grief, and identity quite like The Summer I Turned Pretty. With its dreamy aesthetics and heartfelt storytelling, the series draws us into the tangled web of relationships between Belly, Conrad, Jeremiah, and their families.
But beyond the beach romances and emotional crescendos, there's a rich psychological subtext at play—especially when viewed through the lens of attachment theory.
Let’s dive into the attachment styles of the main characters—and how their emotional patterns evolve over time.
💡 What Are Attachment Styles?
Attachment theory helps us understand how early relationships—particularly with caregivers—influence how we connect, trust, and love as adults. Most people fall into one (or a blend) of four styles:
Secure – Comfortable with closeness and independence; communicates needs and boundaries effectively.
Anxious (Preoccupied) – Craves closeness, often fears abandonment, may need frequent reassurance.
Avoidant (Dismissive) – Tends to suppress emotions, values independence, and avoids vulnerability.
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) – Struggles with both intimacy and independence, often due to unresolved trauma.
Now, let’s explore how these styles show up in The Summer I Turned Pretty—and how the characters grow over the three seasons.
🌸 Belly: Secure-Anxious Attachment
Belly (Isabel Conklin) often presents with a secure-anxious attachment style. She’s open with her emotions, desires authentic connection, and communicates with vulnerability. At the same time, when relationships feel uncertain—especially with Conrad—she becomes more emotionally activated and preoccupied with where she stands.
Why it makes sense: Belly has strong, loving relationships with her mother and best friend, suggesting a solid base of security. But romantic uncertainty activates her anxiety, especially when her needs aren’t met or acknowledged.
Examples:
She openly expresses her feelings to Conrad and Jeremiah.
When she senses emotional distance, she internalizes it or anxiously tries to "fix" it.
Therapeutic note: Many people fall somewhere in the secure-anxious spectrum. With awareness, this style can grow increasingly secure through mutual trust, communication, and self-soothing skills. Even someone who has a secure attachment style can become anxious when partnered with an avoidant, like we see in the early stages of Belly and Conrad’s relationship.
🔥 Jeremiah: Anxious Attachment
Jeremiah is emotionally available, loyal, and expressive—often wearing his heart on his sleeve. However, his deep fear of abandonment and tendency to feel threatened by shifts in Belly’s affection point to an anxious attachment style.
Examples:
He seeks constant reassurance, especially when Conrad is around.
He struggles to regulate his emotions when he feels rejected.
Psych insight: Jeremiah's anxious style may come from always feeling like the second choice—not just romantically, but emotionally within his family dynamic.
💬 Therapist’s lens: Anxiously attached individuals often benefit from building inner security through self-validation, learning to self-soothe, and building a tolerance for uncertainty in relationships.
🌊 Conrad: From Avoidant to Earnestly Secure
Conrad’s character arc is one of the most emotionally rich in the series. In early seasons, he clearly shows signs of avoidant attachment: emotionally distant, slow to open up, and reluctant to express vulnerability—even when it’s clear he loves Belly deeply, he can’t help but self sabotage and push her away..
But over time, something powerful happens.
Early Avoidant Traits:
Shuts down emotionally when overwhelmed.
Pushes Belly away instead of confronting his feelings.
Tries to “handle everything” on his own, including his family’s crises.
Growth Toward Secure Attachment:
Begins therapy and faces his grief, anxiety, and emotional repression.
Takes responsibility for his emotional unavailability.
Opens up to Belly, expresses his truth without defensiveness, and stops pushing her away.
✅ This evolution is the heart of secure attachment in progress: not perfection, but a willingness to sit with discomfort, speak honestly, and let others truly see you.
💬 Therapist’s note: Conrad’s journey is a testament to how avoidant attachment can shift toward security—with self-awareness, support, and emotional work. His willingness to face himself catalyzes positive change for all of his relationships.
🌀 The Push-Pull Dynamic: Belly, Jeremiah & Conrad
The triangle between Belly, Jeremiah, and Conrad isn’t just a plot device—it’s an emotional map of how attachment styles interact:
Belly’s anxious tendencies pull her toward reassurance.
Jeremiah offers that, but his own anxiety creates pressure.
Conrad, initially avoidant, withdraws—triggering Belly’s fears even more.
As Conrad becomes more secure, the emotional dynamic shifts. His ability to meet Belly’s vulnerability with honesty—rather than distance—gives her the space to step back into her own secure center. Briefly in season 3, we see even Belly lean avoidant when Conrad first comes back and confesses his love for her. Having been hurt by him deeply in the past, at first Belly can’t trust it and tries to push him away and self protect, just as Conrad used to do to her. However, we see him realize that her big heart and love for him persist even if she tries to push them down, and ultimately step into her security and choose Conrad wholeheartedly. Together, they embody the magic of a connection where both partners grow and heal independently to strengthen their relationship.
🌱 What We Can Learn
These characters mirror many of our real-life patterns: longing for closeness, fearing rejection, avoiding vulnerability. They also remind us that attachment styles aren’t fixed. They can shift and grow through:
Therapy and self-reflection
Safe, attuned relationships
Learning to self-regulate
Speaking our needs honestly
If you saw yourself in any of these characters, you’re not alone. Awareness is the first step toward healing.
💬 Final Thoughts: The Real Glow-Up Is Emotional Growth
While the series centers on Belly’s transformation over the summer, the most powerful changes happen within—especially for Conrad. His emotional growth shows us that the bravest thing we can do isn’t to fall in love—it’s to face ourselves, speak our truth, and let others in.
Curious about your own attachment style?
Therapy can help you untangle old patterns, heal emotional wounds, and create relationships grounded in trust and emotional safety.
📅 Book a free consultation or learn more about therapy for relationship issues.
Because growing up doesn’t just happen in one summer—it happens every time we choose healing over hiding.
